A Period On My Period

Monday, 7:36 AM

I wake up this morning in a pool of my own blood.

4 days early.

Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon incident. I've had these sheets for less than 5 months and they've already endured countless uphill battles against my viscous and persistent uterus.

I don't have time to clean up this unholy mess before school, so I quickly throw all of my stained blankets on the ground and hurtle myself towards the bathroom.

No time to balk, I crumple up a large wad of toilet paper and attempt to wipe away the bloodbath.

I don’t acknowledge the severe backaches or the burning sensation coming from inside of me, I gotta skedaddle to the kitchen to whip up a half-assed breakfast.

I pick an all-black outfit (just in case my there's a breach in m’panties), shove 5 super plus tampons in my bag and dash out the door

Fuck, I’m late.

8:59 AM

Sitting through 1st period is agony. I need to get up to tend to my womanly needs in the bathroom, but the fear of leaving an unsavory blood mark on my chair prevents me from doing so. Crossing my fingers that no evidence is left behind, I rise from my seat and ask to use the restroom. The teacher refuses to let me leave. I ask again, but this time I suggest with my voice and body language that it’s a fuckin emergency.

Still a no. Who does this moron think he is, refusing me the right to use the bathroom.

2:16 PM

Even when I know that leakage is unlikely because I just changed my tampon, I still have to sit through hellish pain and act like everything's fine. It comes in waves. One second I'll be giving a presentation to the class on something really important, feeling only the slightest bit of discomfort. Then, Satan himself decides to invade my insides with a shit ton of kerosene and a few matches. I rush through my extremely interesting lecture on poetry and prose and then shimmy back to my seat. I lay my head on the desk and squeeze my thighs together.

3:00 PM

After 7 hours of wanting to throw myself out the window, I finally get to leave and go pass out in a numbingly hot bath.

Can’t wait to do this shit all over again tomorrow.